The Secret To True Weight Loss Is Here!!

Do parts of you arrive five minutes before or five minutes after the rest of you?
Is your butt so big, Telstra are trying to launch a satellite around it?
Are your thighs so big the fire brigade follow you around to hose down the friction smoke?
Do you have more chins than a Chinese phone book?
Do you receive applause when you buy cloth from Tent City?
Does your partner scream when you are being amorous, not through enjoyment but because their body has gone numb?

If you answered YES to any of the above then for a tiny $3.99 you too can have the secret, YES $3.99 is all it costs!!

As an introductory offer I’ll give the secret away FOR FREE! Thats right, FREE (after initial $3.99 is sent). The secret that no-one wants you to know is in that $3.99.
By giving it to me, the $3.99 you have just given away, money, that would have bought you a happy meal at McDonalds – you are now on your way to weight loss.

ACT NOW!! Send me your $3.99 and receive the secret (secret contains nothing), and you too can look like the hottest movie star (conditions apply, may not work for all individuals).

(FYI: This is copyright so if you plan on stealing it then gimme credit or I’ll sue ya fat arse)