A family of England rugby supporters head out shopping in Richmond, one Saturday before Christmas.
While in a sport shop, the son picks up a Welsh rugby shirt and says to his sister, “I’ve decided I’m going to be a Welsh supporter and I’d like this shirt for my Christmas present!”
The sister is outraged at this; promptly whacks him round the head and says, “Go talk to mum.”
Off goes the little lad, with Welsh shirt in hand and finds his mother.
“I’ve decided I’m going to be a Welsh supporter and I’d like this shirt for my Christmas present.”
The mother is outraged at this; promptly whacks him round the head and says, “Go talk to your father.” Off he goes with the Welsh shirt in hand and finds his father.
“I’ve given this a lot of thought; I’ve watched the style of rugby they play and I’ve decided I’m going to be a Welsh rugby supporter and I would like this Welsh shirt for my Christmas present.”
The father is outraged at this; promptly whacks his son round the head and says: “No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!”
About half an hour later, they are all back in the car heading home. The father turns to the son and says: “Son, I hope you’ve learned an important lesson today?”
The son turns to his father and says: “Yes, Father, I have.”
Father says: “Good son, and what is it?”
The son replies: “I’ve only been a Welsh supporter for an hour and I already hate you English bastards!”
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year’s Eve Party.
We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.
We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi.
The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.
As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, scoots back into the house.
We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
My wife goes on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat.
The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.
Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn’t want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night.
So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon,
‘He’s just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.’
A few minutes later, I get into the cab. ‘Sorry I took so long,’ I said, as we drove away.
‘That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out!
She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me.
But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!
She better not shit in the vegetable garden again!’
The silence in the cab was deafening.