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Allied Express

Roland, Roland – Wherefore art thou

I am still yet to receive my Roland Synth from the couriers so I called them. Below is a rough but fairly accurate text of the conversation I just had.

Me: Can you tell me where my parcel is please?
Them: Have you a consignment number?
Me: Yes (gives it to her).
Them: Umm One moment.
Them: Can you give me the size and a description of what it is?
Me: 139cm x 24cm x 10cm and 11 kilos.
Them: Does it have any distinguishing features?
Me: Well it’s a brushed aluminium vintage synthesizer, oh 88 key.
Them: Anything else?
Me: It’s got a birth mark just below middle C

At this point she hastily said she’d look for it and ring me back then hung up. I’m sorta wonderin’ if she’s also psychic as well as thick as she didn’t ask for my number.

Update 15th November: Still haven’t got it because Allied Express have lost it again – it’s either in Melbourne or Sydney they’re not sure, plus they have now told me not to contact them again but to go through my booking agent. Incompetence thy name is Allied Express.

Update 16th November: It’s official, Allied Express have lost my Roland RS-9 and I now have to go through proving to QBE that I deserve to be given my insurance claim.
In a word “Gutted.” ;-(

Or in more than one word FUCK ALLIED EXPRESS AND THE FUCKIN’ HORSE THEY RODE IN ON!!

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